Snap # 12 – Diana Athill’s, “Somewhere Towards the End”
Somewhere Towards the End by Diana Athill
I’ve always believed that “fitting in” is way overrated and British editor and writer Diana Athill apparently is my soul mate to this thinking.
Now, if you’re under 60 years-of-age, this SNAP is not for you. Click off this blog and return tomorrow for “French Fridays with Dorie”, (a great recipe).
Still with me?
Pick up “Somewhere Towards the End”, from your local library or Amazon ($11). Winner of the Costa Award for Biography, the 2009 National Book Critics Circle Award in Autobiography and a New York Times bestseller, this short, well-crafted tome is a critically acclaimed memoir on life and aging. Don’t be put off by the subject. Remember, Athill is a Brit and a woman you must meet.
Athill, now 93, and, in 2008, appointed by the Queen as an officer of the British Empire, is one of the great editors in British publishing. For more than five decades she edited such authors as V. S. Naipaul, Jean Rhys, Philip Roth, Norman Mailer and John Updike. Ten years ago she turned from editor to writer and became a literary sensation.
British Editor and Author Diana Athill
Diana Athill’s mind (through words) will expand yours.
Twenty-three years ago my Aspen friend, Belinda, who was 64 at the time and considered, by me, to be elderly, shared a confidence. “One of the secrets to aging well,” she explained, “is to have young friends.”
Belinda, a Renaissance woman, well-traveled, smart and amazingly witty, has never lacked for friends. At that moment in time, she was inviting me to join her friendship circle. I was the young buckette and delighted to have an opportunity to know her better.
To this day, I consider her to be one of those treasured crown jewels who has added depth, perspective and meaning to my life. While I will always be her younger friend, the tables have now turned and I find myself remembering her wise words.
Do not misunderstand. Long-time friends are important, essential and irreplaceable. In the past seven years, my dearest school friends, Mary Ann and Gayle, have stepped up to revitalize faded friendships, providing me emotional support as well as nostalgic laughter. There’s something about friends you’ve known since fourth grade that is priceless.
I’ve also held tightly to older friends, Dotty, Betty and Ruth, for example, who provide good counsel and wisdom. Nothing fazes these women although I sometimes test them mightily. Distance has only strengthened, not lessened, my 25-year relationship with Canadian friends, Jean and Kent. http://millerharding.com/ We Americans could take a few lessons about “enveloping worldliness” from our neighbors to the North. And, I’ve previously written of my Aspen bonds that remain unbroken: https://www.lightsonbrightnobrakes.com/you-can-go-home-again/
According to the Drs. Oz and Roizen, The You Docs, “Socializing and laughing with friends can cut your odds of memory loss in half, and make you twice as likely to avoid disabilities that could cramp your late-life style. Socializing,” they say, “boosts your chances of staying mobile and being able to manage everything from meals to meds by a whopping 150 percent. Staying mentally, physically, and socially active helps keep both your brain and body pumped up and tuned in.”
So, my advice? Keep building up your friendship circle and set your sights on some young people, ten to twenty years younger. Plug into their vitality while realizing their frame of reference is a decade or two apart from yours. Feed off their energy and point-of-view. Honor and understand their differences. Amazon, to them, is not a river. Columbine is a Colorado high school not its state flower. Gloria Steinem, one of the most important women of my generation, is 77 years old. Say, who? Jimmy Carter is a kindly, elderly man who builds houses. Most of them have never asked nor had to tell. https://www.beloit.edu/mindset/
Now, don’t be silly about this. Act your age. Dress your age. Be your age. Enjoy young friends for what you may offer each other. Know when to put up borders, draw the line or fade away.
I am wealthy in young friends. While it’s up to them to say how I enhance their lives, I’m quite clear about what they offer me on a daily basis. Some examples…….
Blanca, an Aspen neighbor, moved, with her family, onto our block ten years ago. Having anointed myself the Silver King Drive Welcome Wagon, I baked brownies and arrived at her doorstep. Instant. It was instant. I love people with passion and she is passionate about, well, about everything. Blanca is contagious.
As are part-time Aspenites Mindy and Dale, professional artists whose talent is only surpassed by their kindness. http://www.karlhollinger.com/ I am Iowa. They are South Beach. I am dazzled by their creativity and ideas. They attempt to keep me from being “so yesterday.” ( With mixed results)
I pick my battles with my younger Colorado friends who are athletes, Luky, Cathy and Donna. No, I cannot hike up Aspen Mountain. Yes, I could manage Smuggler Mountain and ride my bike to Woody Creek Tavern. These are not women who suffer Wimps but, for the sake of friendship, they slow down and permit breathing.
Are you getting the picture?
In Ray, my Nevada neighbor, I have a friend who sees the world through rose-colored glasses. He’s generally upbeat. Always happy. This is a man I could live with, and, yes, I’ve asked. Michelle, my fanatical foodie friend, has cajoled me into trying six different kinds of oysters and all sorts of weird food. I do not like oysters nor eat food I cannot spell.
Every week my tech-savvy pals, Kathy (374 friends) and Ellen (635 friends), try to find me Facebook buddies. I have 31. They need to work harder. Greg, while trying to keep me fit, gets pummeled with more medical questions than my doctors. He does his homework and usually comes up with sensible answers. Medicare, be damned. And, Adriana, who lives nearby and is also an early riser, checks to see that my lights are on by 5:30am. If my lights aren’t on bright, she calls. I am serious.
“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.” Walter Winchell
These are called the “Dog Days of Summer” but no self-respecting dog would trade an air-conditioned house for a hot-to-the-paw walk on a scorching sidewalk. Ouch and Bow-Wow.
Webster defines this as the period of stagnation/inactivity between early July/early September when hot sultry weather occurs in the northern hemisphere, a direct result of the earth’s tilt. It honors Sirius, the “dog star,” who rises and sets with the Summer sun.
From my perch in Las Vegas, where I’ve spent the Summer, I’m throwing a few bones on this dog days-theory. We hit 100-degrees on June 14 and wll be holding firm and steady, probably, throughout September. It’s hot. It’s depressing. It’s the pits. I’m Sir-i-us about that. It doesn’t help, of course, to hear rumblings from the Rockies, where I was a volunteer Wilderness Ranger in Aspen for 14 years, that the weather has been glorious, the flowers vibrant, and the hiking superb.
In pursuit of my on-going challenge to turn lemons into lemonade, I went straight to the fruit source: a grocery store. Yesterday, my favorite market, Trader Joe’s, was hosting its weekly early A.M. store tour. Readers, if you can’t get excited about food markets, you’ve never walked into “Trader Joe’s”. it’s a culture, a tease and campy. The “crew members”, who wear Hawaiian shirts, are managed by “Captains.” The food products, wines, flowers and speciality items? Extraordinary, innovative and top-drawer.
To prove that point, there is a colorful giant chalkboard sign, made by one of the two artists-on-premises, which reads, “You don’t have to walk the plank to return a product. If you tried it and don’t like it, bring it back.”
Chef Marcel at her Demo Station
Although most of its stores are located in Southern California, the company owns locations in 28 other states, Washington, D.C and soon, Kentucky. There are four stores in Las Vegas. We campaigned mightily for our Henderson location and yesterday, unbeknownst to me, was the fourth anniversary of its opening. Party time All-Day.
Crew Member Kathy Savage, who has often helped me, was our affable tour leader. There were six of us on board, all, apparently, TJ Groupies. Here’s why. Every store is unique from its layout to shelving to product line. TJ advertises through infrequent radio ads (never heard one) and The Fearless Flyer, a madcap periodical published quarterly and brimming with mouth-watering information. Their prices are competitive, usually lower. No coupons. No club cards. No products from China. No sales, No loss leaders. No. No. No.
Frozen Mandarin Orange Chicken – Triple Ginger Snap Cookies – Spicy Jalepeno Chicken Sausages – Tarte D’Alsace – Frozen Gyoza-Two-Buck Chuck (Wine) – Candy Cane JoeJoe’s – Fig, Mango, Honey Apple and Pumpkin Butters – Frozen Croissants (Chocolate, Mini and Multi-Grain) –
For me, however, it’s all about the products. Each store carries a limited number of items. If you like choices, ten different labels of white flour or every brand of Ranch dressing, go elsewhere. Although they carry 6 mustard varieties (Kathy shakes her head about that.), usually your choice is “one”. They offer “one” can of corn. It’s a top-seller. Ninety percent of the items carry the Trader Joe brand.
When a new item shows up (about 5, each month), something is pulled off the shelves. (My neighbor, Ray, is currently grumping about “no sauerkraut” at TJ’s. Who eats sauerkraut in 110-degree weather anyway? Yuck!)) If you see Trader Joe’s on a label, then you know that the product contains NO artificial flavors, colors or preservatives; NO genetically modified ingredients; NO MSG; and NO added Trans Fats.
The best value at Trader Joe’s, where you find the most bang for your buck, is with its employees, those “crew members” who work the aisles (Debbie, Ken the Professor, and Kathy ), create the culinary samples (Chef Marcel), replenish the flowers (Sharon) and bag my groceries (Aaron). I’m partial to Aaron, who has a disposition to match where he works….he’s a very joyful guy. But, the best part about Aaron? His arms are all-tattoos. I’m not sure he’s got skin. When I see Aaron, I think “pain”, those arms represents a whole lotta hurt.
My point being………Trader Joe’s is not an errand nor a chore, it’s a trip, a destination. I never leave without a grin on my face, and, sometimes, just every so often, a sticker and a balloon.
I grew up in Manchester, Iowa, a small rural community in northeastern Iowa. Although my parents were not directly involved in local politics, they voted in every election, local, state and presidential. They were invested in their community and in their business and they always felt you protected that investment by electing good leaders.
My mother did not have an opinion that she didn’t share. (Pot. Kettle. Black.) My father was the silent partner in their more than 50-year relationship. They were staunch Republicans. But, try as I might, I cannot recall one conversation in our household where a politician of either party was maligned or belittled or personally criticized.
Today, I cannot watch television, read a newspaper, stand in the post office line, buy groceries, or turn on the radio without being exposed to political rubbish and personalized political attacks that really have nothing to do with the problems at hand.
We Americans get exactly what we vote for.
And, since only approximately 55% of our eligible voting population chooses to mark a ballot in presidential and congressional elections, the other 45% have forfeited their right to an opinion. That should shut down some of the verbal babble. To my mind, that 45% can, well, just continue to kick the can down the road. If you don’t vote, you can’t emote.
In the past decade, we’ve elected a Congress that has voted us into two wars, tax cuts (2001 and 2003) that swept away our $urplus, and legislated Medicare Part D, the Bush prescription drug coverage bill. Isn’t it ironic that the politicians who are squealing the loudest right now, voted for all of those measures.
That’s why I am really excited about the Super Congress, a gang of 12 politicians chosen by a less-than-super Congress, not us, to bring us to deficit-AAA-nirvana.
Pardon me for being skeptical.
The SC Gang of Twelve includes 5 members of the Silent Generation (Born 1925-1942) and 7 Boomers (Born 1943-1960). The Republicans chose no women or minority while the Democrats’ Gang includes a woman, an Hispanic, and a Black. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 50.7% of our population are female. I’m trying not to take offense.
Just remembering, we Americans get exactly what we vote for.
Stocks are down. Spirits are rocky. Temperatures and tempers are soaring.
Look left.
Look right.
There’s a nearby neighbor who is struggling more than you.
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So, savor this last month of Summer by offering friends and neighbors your very own Signature Drink. Create it. Invent it. Copy it off a Food Blog or Recipe Site. Tweak it. Name it. (Mine is called “My Sip of Summer”). The rule is, if you serve it, you own it!
My August is all about Watermelon Lemonade (with or without Vodka).
This recipe was in the June 2005 Issue of Oprah’s Magazine. Is there a better way to honor the end of the “Oprah” ?
In a mixer, blender, or the bowl of a food processor, place watermelon and process until very smooth. If you don’t want pulp, strain through a coarse sieve set over a bowl, stirring to push through any pulp. Pour juice into a large pitcher. Add lemon zest.
In a bowl, whisk lemon juice and honey until honey dissolves; stir into watermelon juice. Stir in 1 1/2 cups cold water; cover and refrigerate until very cold. Serve over ice and garnish with lemon slices, adding vodka, if desired.
State Birds & Flowers (1000 pieces) by White Mountain Puzzles
Need some relief from Summer’s steamy temperatures? Here’s the plan. Purchase a 1000-piece jig saw puzzle (Target, WalMart, Amazon.com). Invite three or four friends for a potluck lunch or dinner. Everyone contributes. (It helps if this is a boisterous, amusing, entertaining four-or-five some.) Provide drinks (I prefer the alcoholic variety), snacks, and music. The goal of the party is to complete the puzzle. The secret? Make a plan. Divide and Conquer. You cannot imagine the feeling of accomplishment of a jigsaw job well-done.
No Gluten
Vegan
Vegetarian
Fat Free
Quick Meal
Kosher
