Croquants, this week’s French Fridays with Dorie recipe choice.
There’s no reason to not take five minutes right now and read this blog. I guarantee you’ll want to run to your kitchen, pull out nuts (any kind), sugar, 2 eggs (whites only, freeze the yolks) and flour. Within ten minutes, no KitchenAid needed, you’ll have mounds of these little darlings on parchment-lined baking sheets ready to pop into the oven. No butter, oil, salt, extracts or leavening required.
Add egg whites to the sugar/nut mixture and blend.
Besides turning into Cookie Monster this week, my first month in Cambria officially ended. It’s been productive and quite wonderful. I hesitate to throw out those adjectives because I don’t want to whammy myself. Have you ever felt like that? It’s always seems whenever things are running smoothly, on an even keel, I relax, get complacent, a little cocky. Until things take a bad turn or two or three and I am forced to change gears. That’s just Life, isn’t it?
After the flour joins the party and is blended, the mixture turns thick.
Michael’s last ten years were all bumps and bruises and disasters. While I did many things right in those ten years, I never handled those many crisis well. As I’ve often said, when my second grade teacher asked who wanted to be a nurse when they grew up, I never raised my hand. I was unequipped and lacked the knowledge, tools and DNA to be a caregiver. Oh, I tried, would smile and soldier on but no one ever mistook me for Florence Nightingale.
Bring on the heat.
I wasn’t a total loser, however. I was all about running our affairs with their many complications and intricacies, keeping us afloat. Organization is my forté. Never underestimate the importance of that. When a critical issue had to be solved, I would seek advice and help. The final decision, however, was mine alone and I made it. I really never gave up hope we could beat this disease until Michael entered the Memory Care unit. I never cried much throughout this entire journey but that day I sat by his wheelchair and sobbed.
After removing the cookies from the oven,transfer the baking sheet to a cooling rack for 10 minutes.
After Michael died, it was my job to create a Lifestyle for myself. This, I could do. I had the knowledge, tools and DNA to build a business. The business of living, if you will. The majority of spouses who become longtime caregivers can never reestablish a contented life. Either they do not have the energy or health or resources or will to jump back into life after so many years. It’s too overwhelming or they don’t know how.
Croquants are sold in speciality shops all over France.
Sometimes I wonder if my friends, family or you readers find it puzzling or odd or weird that I appear so happy and content and laugh so easily. How could someone who lost a spouse of 25 years bounce back so quickly. Does she ever feel sad or grieve? (This quiet month in California has given me thinking time, do you get that?) What I’ve chosen to remember and celebrate are the 15 good years. Returning to Aspen has given me that gift. I used up a lifetime of sadness and grief during Michael’s illness. There is none of that left in my tank. Plus, it’s not my nature. My good times will continue to roll, hopefully, just as they have the past two years. That is my hope for all caregivers who walk this road.
Great Egret, Fiscalini Ranch, Cambria, California
I haven’t, however, used up my fondness for cookies. In all modesty, I admit that Mary Hirsch knows her cookies. Although pies, cakes and pastries don’t tempt me, dare not get between me and a cookie. My mom’s speciality was Hermits, a spicy New England classic. When her cookie jar was empty I was partial to Archway’s crispy Windmills and, twist my arm, Oreo’s. My friend, Jane Carey, makes me Mexican Wedding Cookies but only at Christmas. In Aspen I now live a 5-minute walk away from my favorite cookie bakery. Buy two, get the third free….Peanut Butter, Molasses and Snickerdoodle. It’s a blessed Life.
Bald Eagles, Lopez Lake, California
Can you understand why I don’t often bake cookies? That may change with today’s French Fridays with Dorie recipe. A Croquant is a crispy morsel that doesn’t know if it’s a macaroon or meringue.They are readily available in France at boulangeries, patisseries and supermarkets. I was once in Paris with a friend who loved ice cream. Everyday she and I would walk to Île Saint-Louis where France’s well-known glacier, Berthillon’s, had a store.I would buy a Chocolate Noir ice cream cone. While every lick was heavenly, it was the little crunchy wafer stuck in the ice cream that I loved most. With all its leftover egg whites, Berthillon’s makes Croquants. Genius.
Snowy Egret, Fiscalini Ranch, Cambria, California
The recipe is below. Here are some tips. Unskinned hazelnuts and/or almonds are the classic nuts of choice. For fun, Dorie suggested cashews. I loved that. Chop the nuts the size of chocolate chips. NO smaller. The recipe makes 4 dozen delicious cookies.
Great Blue Heron, Moonstone Beach
CROQUANTS by Dorie Greenspan, Around My French Table cookbook
INGREDIENTS:
3 ½ ounces (about a cup) of nuts, coarsely chopped (I used cashews)
1¼ c. sugar
2 large egg whites
½ c. plus 1 Tbsp. flour, sifted
DIRECTIONS:
1. Center a rack in the oven and preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Line your baking sheets with parchment paper.
2, Put the nuts and sugar in a medium mixing bowl and, using a rubber spatula, stir together. Add the egg whites and stir so the nuts are evenly coated. Add the flour and stir to blend until you have a thick mixture.
3. Measure out a teaspoonful of dough and put the little mounds on the parchment-lined baking sheets, leaving 2 inches between cookies.
4. Bake the cookies for 8-10 minutes, rotating the sheet halfway through, until puffed, crackled and nicely browned .
5. Transfer the baking sheet to a cooling rack, and let the cookies stand for about 10 minutes, until you can easily peel them away from the parchment. Transfer the cookies to the cooling rack, and allow them to cool to room temperature.
6. Store in a dry, covered container, not in a plastic bag or plastic wrap, or they will lose their crunch. They will keep for a week.
Happy Baking.
What a wonderful post, Mary. It can be so hard to rebuild one’s life after major changes, but you have the spirit and talent for it. I love reading about the lifestyle you’ve built for yourself, while honouring your past.
These cookies are fantastic – I discovered them when I had a big surplus of egg whites a few years ago. I’ve not had the pleasure of sampling them on Île Saint-Louis, however. (I was just reading about the birth of Île Saint-Louis and some of Paris’ other famous features in How Paris Became Paris. It’s a wonderful book, if you’re interested in urban issues and cityscapes.)
Bitter sweet post my friend and I am pretty sure that if Michael knew what you were up to he would be thrilled.
No way he would stand between you and your cookies.
Hugs, TTR
PS. I am printing this recipe…this is the sort of cookie that makes my top 5 cookie list.
You are an inspiration, Mary. Truly. An especially touching post as I think of my mom who had a small stroke yesterday; her first, but I wonder if this is the start to the end for her. I would have been happy to send you my leftover cookies—I think about half of one was all that was eaten. And, do tell, where your favorite bakery is in Aspen 🙂
Liz is right Mary, you ARE an inspiration. Michael would be proud.
PS: these cookies look utterly different to mine – even my “dough” was runnier than that. Love yours!
A poignant post Mary. And a recipe even I can make! Xo
Thank you, Mary, for sharing your thoughts and experiences with being a care giver and a widow. I have not dealt with the life changing debilitating illness and loss of my spouse. Its unimaginable what it must truly be like. I have had many losses, though, and in short order. My dad, brother, mother and best friend gone one after the other and it has left me reeling. I never presumed to know your private moments but I took inspiration from your ability to put a smile on your face and go forward with your life. You ARE an inspiration to me and to many others I suspect. When I go grow up, maybe I can be like you:) And we were crazy about these crunchy, little cookies! I love your bird pictures and hearing about your life in Cambria. My bird feeding struggles continue…..
Good Morning Mary, I’m so glad we were able to meet Michael at your lovely home in Aspen all those years ago. Alzheimer disease is insidious and so sad as our loved ones slowly slip away. As you know, both Dad and Mom suffered from a form of it, Dad for years, and Mom toward the end. Caring for him for almost 15 years took her health and the sparkle from her eyes. When he finally entered Good Neighbor Home she just seemed to give up.
My advice to all is to live your life to the fullest, NOW and be Happy. The future isn’t promised to any one of us.
Blessings, Kiddo.
BTW, the cookies look yummy. I’m going to go buy some nuts.
Oh, Mary I just put on my make-up and now I have to retouch. My mom was a nurse and she nursed two husbands: one with heart disease and the other with lung cancer. You would have made a good nurse, a lot of it is just about getting people to continue on. I don’t always know how she handled things emotionally, but my mother is a lot like you… I think you don’t get stuck in self-pity, and you are good about getting back into social situations… friends, friends, friends so important. Your resilience is astounding, can’t wait to meet you in the Fall.
No, I have never found it weird that you have found the strength to choose happiness. We all grieve in different ways and I hope that you continue to use your available outlets (including this blog) to tell the story of your journey. I have not yet had to suffer such a loss, but if and when such a day should come, I will be drawing on such stories to choose my own path.
Gorgeous photos, Mary, and gorgeous words. My grandfather died 5 years ago now after dealing with Alzheimers for 10 years (he hadn’t spoken for at least 2.5 years at the end there) and it was so so difficult for my grandmother. I don’t blame you one bit, and very much admire, that you are happy and laugh: you clearly gave a lot of yourself and now it’s time to focus on you. I look forward to meeting you in the near future. Hugs as you continue being productive!
Great post Mary…sounds like a great cookie to make to get us out of the winter illness doldrums and the passing of my 96 year old sweet mom who taught me many things, not the least of which was to enjoy noshing…and to enjoy it often! She didn’t want us to be too skinny, so there was usually a dark chocolate Devils food layer cake filled with whipped cream, bananas and strawberries (called a victory cake) in the fridge with a fork for easy noshing! Wonder if one can add a bit of cocoa powder to the recipe for the chocoholics among us? And au revoir Janvier indeed! xoxo
Like the others, I am touched by this post and went through several emotions when reading it. Also like many other comments, all I kept thinking as I read through it was “but you are such an inspiration to me”. It all counts. We know folks have it challenging behind the smiles – some do a better job covering it and you do an amazing job because you have that combination of strength AND focusing on other’s feelings first. I have not had to walk in the your shoes of dealing with a long term illness but the thought of the sadness and the amount of time that you had to carry the load makes me realize that it indeed must profoundly affect one’s perspective. I love that you are acknowledging the tough times but choosing to focus on the good memories. Words to live by. Now the cookies. Yup – love that you love cookies. you have such a disciplined and healthy lifestyle that it warmed my heart to think of you enjoying the cookies you mentioned. These little guys were pretty darn fabulous and your photos are just lovely. The bird photos also got me because I just love birds. What a wonderful and inspiring adventure 🙂
Dear Mary, what a very touching and inspirational post indeed – you know that I always envy you (in a really good way, of course) for your amazing writing skills. While I do not assume I know the first thing about how it must have felt to be by Michael´s side all those years, I do know that this disease is certainly one of the most heavy of burdens to carry – you know that my dad suffered from Alzheimers for so many years and this illness caused so much pain and heartache and emotional damage – although we have not met in person, may I say that I am incredibly proud of you my dear friend and I am wrapping my arms around you!
We shall meet some day, may be not next week or in fall, but some day and in the meantime I am so very happy to be one of your friends …
And I am as much of a cookie monster as you are, I love cookies and your Croquants look wonderfully delicious – I will have to make them agian soon.
Have a great weekend – the girls are saying “HI”, as I am typing this, they are trying on their carnival costumes (big party at school on Thursday). Imken will be a “bumble bee”, Freya a “Hippie”, Gretchen will dress up as a little “devil” and Klara declared herself to be “too old for dressing up in costumes” – there…
Liebe Grüsse,
Andrea & Co.
These cookies were delish and fuss free to make. I don’t make cookies very often because of the faff factor, but there was none of that here.
Mary, there is not much I can say right now except that as life goes on we deal with these challenges,. I have learn so much this past year, a lot more than I planned on, however, we do what is necessary and deal with it. I will say that being in contact with this wonderful group, and having met so many new friends, it makes every thing worthwhile. I just said to Jim, this keeps me going. He loves it, and is always asking me what is the next recipe. He is so surprised that this formed into such a friendship among all of us, and to know Dori on such a personal basis, he is really impressed. She is so sweet and makes everyone feel like
a close friend.
Okay, enough already, your cookies look good.
Lovely post, Mary! Being my moms caregiver, for many years, I know how very hard the challenge of dealing with a loved one with dementia can be. It was a devastating time for our family….and I miss her so much since she’s passed away. You have done an amazing job of reclaiming your live!
As for the cookies…They are just waaay too good! I’ve already made two batches because they are also quite easy! Yours look fabulous!! Enjoy your weekend! Hugs!
Hi there Mary, Ted says, delicious cookies! I agree and of course love all your simple recipes. Yes, I may add a little chocolate for the grandkids ..and Ted!
You sound very strong, and healing takes such a long time. Continue on your path just one step at a time. Very Best, Karen
Mary, You continue to inspire me. You are one of my role models for how to live.
I love cookies too. These are a new favorite for me too. The last time I went to Paris, we stayed on Ile St Louis. It was August, so unfortunately Berthillon was closed for the month. We walked by it, but couldn’t sample the wares. (A reason to go back.)
I’m so happy you get to meet Katie! Take pictures.
Thanks for being so candid Mary and for your example of strength and courage. You’ve done amazingly well with the circumstances you’ve been given. I really admire you and love your attitude! The nuts don’t look too bad either!
Mary, you are such a good cookie that I can understand that they are your kryptonite. I would never stand in between you and a cookie!
Your positive attitude and willingness to fight the good fight during Micheal’s illness and following his passing helped me get through that period when my girl was going through her multiple hospitalizations. So, thank you for being you and being willing to share your struggles.
XO
Mary, grief is always a challenge and it just takes time. Its immeasurable and you cant anticipate it. I think you are handling it wonderfully with all of the challenges and shifts in emotions that it brings. I can completely understand the process and the wafting back and forth and its hard to always look ahead, but keep your eyes open and focus on all the wonderful and beautiful things that make up your happy life! 😉